Give it a name

Ma told me, son, one thing I know is true

Poison snake bites you, you're poison, too.

At night I feel the poison running through my veins…

(Gave it a name-Bruce Springsteen)

 

I used to want to be something great. Something noble, you know. Something I could admire. And up to very recently I believed that if I just got through the night, a few hours would meld into a couple of years and become enough distance between my failures and me. The failures of what I am will cease to be the failures that I am.

And then I could pick myself up and proceed to my something great.

But on this particular night, this still night, the water falling away from my walls, I know, what prizes were too costly. Forget glory. I will settle for peace.

 

I just want to sleep.

 

I have soared to and through enormous heights, and I have plummeted downwards, and through these altitudes and these depths the thrill of motion was rapturous.

 

But something was always missing, the very thing I held in my hands was the thing I never new. Greatness was always tarnished by its own lack. But now I want stillness. Just that.