Our wills and stuff do so contrary run

This is why I hate being human. It is these things inside, these renegade surges of hormones that will not submit to the governance of our reason.

Emotions. You can't control.

"Once more my feelings have succeeded in confusing me."

I know, for a fact, and I tell myself these things: She is better off without me. Hell, I am better off without her.
But still I feel hurt.

I tell myself I have nothing to fear, I can do this. People have have done this a million times.
Still I feel anxious.

I tell myself that these things they prize as prime values are superficial and trivial – gloss and gossamer. But still, in spite of all the tricks I have learnt to hide it, I am a shy motherfucker and even if I don’t show it, I feel it.

On this day I broke up with someone over the phone. I said, “We can’t do this any more.”
She said, “Okay.”

There.

Now the mad whirl of feelings can begin, soul in storm, heart to tempests. Because this is how it feels to be relieved. I hate this.

I am not overly concerned
With the status of my emotions
"Oh," she says, "We're changing."
"But were always changing," it does not bother me to say.

This isn't love.
Because if you dont want to talk about it then it isn't love
And I guess Im going to have to live that.
But, I'm sure theres something in a shade of gray
Or something in between...

-Counting Crows.