Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Remorse, at last

All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin to my mother, even stealin out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wished she got a fuckin abortion
She dont even love me like she did when I was younger
Suckin on her chest just to stop my fuckin hunger

I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes? 
   Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies.
 
-Biggie.

 


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Thursday, May 17, 2007

A brief conversation with Sanaa Lathan

 

I put the juice down. "There are times I have seen you on screen, and I have laughed and at times I have lusted, and I've looked and seen a two-dimensional, fictional being, a story device. Then at times when I have seen you and I have cared, you know? Really, deeply wanted you to survive, to win, to get through the crisis, and be happy. And not just because of how good you look, or how funny you are, but because of who you are. I fucking cry at movies. I am a wimp."
"You don't have to be a wimp to cry at movies," she said.
"Oh yes, you do. It's the definition."
She decided not to argue with that. "But you realise that when you don't want the bad guy to get me, that it's just a movie. It isn't reality."
"It's art," I said. "Art is superior to reality."
"But if it came down to a fistfight, who would win? Art or reality?"
"I don't want to contemplate that. I am afraid of what I'll find."


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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

People have called this the greatest rock song ever written

You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow back your hair
Well the night's busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks...
 
-Thunder Road


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Friday, May 11, 2007

White Lies

We think we are more evil than we really are. We think we sin more than we actually do.
 
Not because we are righteous, but because in an office next to a phone, in front of a keyboard and a monitor, you don't have a whole lot of room to manoeuvre. You are only as evil as your options, right?
 
You don't even lie that much. Not even white lies.
 
Tomorrow I travel out of town to attend the funeral of my brother-in-law's father.
 
Now, the crux: I don't like my brother in law.  I don't mean the general grey absence of affection that most people feel (feel an absence?) for their in-laws. I mean I despise him. For things he failed to do, and mostly for not being ashamed of his failure. I have great contempt for him.
 
Also, I never knew the old man. I do have a picture in my head of a thin, tall, dark fellow with high cheekbones -- a rural face wearing an urban suit, smiling like a groom's father at the wedding almost ten years ago. I didn't even speak to him then. Just shook hands.
 
Tomorrow I will be standing by his grave, looking solemn, there because of his son. I would like to say to his son, "I wish there was less loss and sorrow in the world. I wish people never had to weep. I wish I was in Kampala with friends right now, and I wish your father was also elsewhere, perhaps at his farm, with his friends, and I wish all these grieving strangers had no cause for grief."
 
But I will not feel for him. I just do not feel for him.
 
So when the time comes, I will lie, and say, "I am sorry for your loss."
 
That is my sin of the week. A doozie.
 
 
"Beneath the dust and love and sweat that hang on everybody,
There's a dead man trying to get out."
 


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Friday, May 04, 2007

Noble Aspirations

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
 
 
 
It's come to this. Quoting Robbie Williams...


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