Give it a name

Ma told me, son, one thing I know is true

Poison snake bites you, you're poison, too.

At night I feel the poison running through my veins…

(Gave it a name-Bruce Springsteen)

 

I used to want to be something great. Something noble, you know. Something I could admire. And up to very recently I believed that if I just got through the night, a few hours would meld into a couple of years and become enough distance between my failures and me. The failures of what I am will cease to be the failures that I am.

And then I could pick myself up and proceed to my something great.

But on this particular night, this still night, the water falling away from my walls, I know, what prizes were too costly. Forget glory. I will settle for peace.

 

I just want to sleep.

 

I have soared to and through enormous heights, and I have plummeted downwards, and through these altitudes and these depths the thrill of motion was rapturous.

 

But something was always missing, the very thing I held in my hands was the thing I never new. Greatness was always tarnished by its own lack. But now I want stillness. Just that.

And now I remember who has my matchbox 20 CD

She said, "While you were sleeping
I was listening to the radio
And wondering what you're dreaming when
It came to mind that I didn't care
So I thought - hell if it's over...

"I had better end it quick
Or I could lose my nerve..."
 

Now. Moment.

I have been reading and listening to dark, broody, melancholic or angry music for the past few. Time to offer something to the universal forces of Inspiration and Hope. This is something I stumbled upon quite by accident on NTV, would you believe it?

The show is called Jack & Bobby. Shows on Sunday nights.

"For some of you this night marks a return to your college life, for some
of you a new beginning. And so, upon the eve of the tremendous journey upon
which you are all embarking, I'd like to offer you a thought to take with you.
Listen carefully: you will fail here. All of you. College is not the culmination
of your high school career. It is the beginning of your adult life. Only it is a
slow sweet beginning that feels nothing like what life and all the attending
obligations will eventually bring. So fail here... This is your chance.

Do things you know you can't do, or think you can't do but hope in your
deepest most secret hidden heart that you can.

Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb. Or two.
Or twelve.
The harder you fall, the farther you'll rise. And the louder you
fail, the clearer the distant bell of your future will ring. Failure is a gift.
Welcome it. There are people who spend their lives wondering how they became the
people they became, how certain chances passed them by and why they didn't take
the road less traveled. Those people are not you.

You have the front-row seat to your own transformation. And in
transforming yourself, you might just transform the world. Believe that, and
embrace the new person you're becoming.
This is your moment. Now.

http://www.jackandbobby.net/Scene_01.php


If I had known that earlier, I would not have hated Makerere so much...